DEAR JOHN

DEAR JOHN...OMG DEAR JOHN...

This is a letter to the one I will meet someday. I don't know where you are or who you are..but it is just not fun for me here waiting for you. Quit messing around sending messages and texts full of how wonderful you are and let's get it on...for gods' sake...look John see the pic above...that is what I want...heck what all females want...kissing in the rain...with the gorgeous and unique....hmmmm thought processes lost....oh, yeah....got it back...with the gorgeous and talented.....Mr. Channing Tatum. Okay so Channing Tatum is never going to see this blog because this blog excuse my french is shitty, but you John...maybe you might.

John why are you playing Ninja with me? Why you hide between all these impostors...I mean come on...the bipolar fallen angel...the techie with no...brains...hmmm,...the angel with no commitment.....the casual dater...with no 401k...really? The Yogi that talks about sex postures and anatomic posture....gosh put me to sleep seriously, this guy is worse than a diabetic comma! And I used to teach Astrophysics for a living...now I have seen it all!

John while you are waiting for your perfect memorable romantic chance to meet me I am managing by eating Chocolate Mint Brewer's ice cream and losing a pound or two by doing push-ups on my desk. I HAVE TO BALANCE OKKKK???? DONT JUDGE ME YOU..YOU...PEOPLE...yeah that was me going bipolar in your assticles for a minute.....okay....One day I am a red head the next I am a platinum blonde...One minute I am crying the next I am baking soap and the next I am unfriending people on Facebook because I am bored out of my frigging mind!

Then let me show you John what is like to be me. I mean what are you waiting for? Saturday nights are a blur of movies in this case the most time it passes the more girly movies I watch...the more hormonal i get...and let's face it...the  more liquor I want to buy...not a pretty thing to watch...not a pretty sight.

I mean sometimes i get back to being you know 4 years old and other times...look I look like Pelosi...gosh that is awful! Girl..not sure how she is going to get back to normal...someone pump some air on this woman!

It is all your fault, John, Now I watch the muppets or a commercial for Dawn Dish-washing liquid Soap and I cry, I sobbed...for Tiny Tim and wonder how amazing is that a blue liquid can get rid of the fat so fast, and yet I cannot.

Now going back to what women want. We don't want perfect. We want normal. We don't want close talkers, open mouth eaters, grammar nazis, low talkers, Indian givers, two-faced bizarro baby face males...what we want is down to earth..caring...and of course if possible with a big....hmmm testicles...spectacles...wallet and watch...okay got it...good dates.

Girlies you saw the movie...this guy goes through a war almost 10 years...comes back...still in love with her...goes through hell and back...still loves her...keeps her letters...these after only two weeks of spending time with her....Have you seen the movie I mean I was like reaching for the kleenex...grabbing for dear life to my woobie blanket (yes okay i have a security blanket i used...alright...at least is a military camouflage one...yes i cried just like below......"I want to kisss in the rainnn.....arhahhaahhahhh....why meeeee....argggg! Yes I cried like a mofo and after I was done it was time for Baileys..I mean when guys get dumped I heard they go to strip clubs, but where do we go??? Publix....to get some ice-cream...so not fair.

Well I am attaching a link just in case....dont thank me till later you are waiting for John around...JUST LIKE ME and by that I didnt mean...you are waiting for JOHN around...okay? and well desire strikes here we go: http://www.cowboys4angels.com/

954.234.7546

No this is not my company..no i have not tried the product...because I cannot afford it..and yes I am broke but for some of you ladies...that look for the perfect male experience and some company dont do like me dont stay on the weekends in sobbing over Tiny Tim and bubbles....have fun...live a little...and try some cowboys and angels. HEEEEHAHHHHH!