A WITCH'S 10 COMMANDMENTS

This week I met a friend whose name should be unnamed as I protect the privacy of my confidants, does a name really matter is it not another label, labels that we acquire over time?
My friend and I discussed many topics from religion, Astronomy, to ancient civilizations, Chemistry (the center science), relationships, and everyday things like our kids.

 When I looked at him I am and was ashamed on how far down the rabbit hole I have traveled ..I lost my way somehow..between figure it out how much gas can I go on empty before I break down in the highway...or how much money is left for groceries...or why sometimes I feel like I am losing my battle as a single mother. Life is hardship..my grandmother would have said..but I always thought that life was our practice test for the real afterwords.

Sitting there next to me my friend and I drinking some ale and being vulnerable we shared a lot in a short amount of time,...I heard him talk about his way and new path to self discovery, how he got there and I saw peace in his eyes and I wonder why I failed the goddess and myself when it seems that for the last year or more I have not been able to enjoy the simple things without worrying about the mundane things. I don't consider myself to be a perfect human being but I have tried to strive in doing well for myself and my kids every day and of course when possible some of my friends and extended family with what I had. I was honored and I am honored to have such a friend that through meditation and self discovery has found answers and a new way of living what Buddish Religion calls the Eightfold Path.

Most of my family members became outraged and extremely prejudiced over my new found religion almost three years ago. Nonsense! said my mother. Your grandmother will say, that is the devils work! I thought you have gone crazy! My mother exclaimed on the phone..and suddenly I felt really alone, the only one of my kind. A Hedge Witch nonetheless alone and it felt like high-school again when kids will tease me because my parents were the only ones divorced while I was attending Catholic School or when the girls stole the clothes from the gym showers when I was fourteen and I had to walk two floors to the rectory and explain that the girls played a prank on me to try to teach me a lesson: Dont be different! However as painful as that memory is, I told my daughter E., they taught me a lesson..no one can break your spirit if you dont let them. No one can affect your behavior if you dont let them.

So today I decided to explain that not all pagans are wiccans; not all witches are wiccans; and not all wiccans are witches and just because we are wiccans, pagans, witches...or different...that does not mean we are bad. I always remember Jessica Rabbits' words..a cartoon from the movie Roger Rabbit saying: "I am not bad...I am just drawn that way." Are you drawn that way?

Confused yet?  It will be difficult for me to explain in a few lines how or why I decided to wear the title of witch or wiccan or both. I defined myself as a Norse Wiccan I identify with that culture..part of my ancestry comes from when the Vikings invaded Spain..my ancestors were the woman folk that were raped or assimilated by that culture.

So fellow christian friends how well do you know your 10 commandments? How well do we all practice them daily?  Below is a comparison of the Christian Commandments and the Wiccan.

1. The Judeo-Christian First Commandment says: I am the Lord thy God which have brought thee out of the Land of Egypt, out of the house of Bondage. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

1. Wiccan or Neo-Paganism: Thou are God/dess.

2. The Judeo-Christian: Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them..

2. Wiccan: As above, so below, as within, so without.

3. Judeo-Christian: Thou salt not take the name of the Lord in vain.

3. Wiccan: Spirit abides in all things. Words and names have power.

4. Judeo-Christian: Remember this Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work; but the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God; in it thou shalt not do any work.

4. Wiccan: Maintain an Attitude of Gratitude. Walk the Talk.

5. Judeo-Christian:Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land.

5. Wiccan: Honor thy ancestors, teachers, elders and leaders.

6. Judeo-Christian: Thou shalt not kill.

6. Wiccan: All life is sacred.

7.Judeo-Christian: Thou shalt not commit adultery.

7. Wiccan: All Acts of Love and Pleasure Are Sacred.

8. Judeo-Christian: Thou shalt not steal.

8. Wiccan: Whatever you sent out returns threefold.

9. Judeo-Christian: Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour

9. Wiccan: Love is the law, love under will.

10. Judeo-Christian: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, wife, manservant, maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbour's.

10. Wiccan: For the greatest good an it harm none.

Maybe we should be looking not how we are different but how we are equal. Hugs. Mystique.

Why You Suck!: DEAR JOHN

Why You Suck!: DEAR JOHN: DEAR JOHN...OMG DEAR JOHN... This is a letter to the one I will meet someday. I don't know where you are or who you are..but it ...

DEAR JOHN

DEAR JOHN...OMG DEAR JOHN...

This is a letter to the one I will meet someday. I don't know where you are or who you are..but it is just not fun for me here waiting for you. Quit messing around sending messages and texts full of how wonderful you are and let's get it on...for gods' sake...look John see the pic above...that is what I want...heck what all females want...kissing in the rain...with the gorgeous and unique....hmmmm thought processes lost....oh, yeah....got it back...with the gorgeous and talented.....Mr. Channing Tatum. Okay so Channing Tatum is never going to see this blog because this blog excuse my french is shitty, but you John...maybe you might.

John why are you playing Ninja with me? Why you hide between all these impostors...I mean come on...the bipolar fallen angel...the techie with no...brains...hmmm,...the angel with no commitment.....the casual dater...with no 401k...really? The Yogi that talks about sex postures and anatomic posture....gosh put me to sleep seriously, this guy is worse than a diabetic comma! And I used to teach Astrophysics for a living...now I have seen it all!

John while you are waiting for your perfect memorable romantic chance to meet me I am managing by eating Chocolate Mint Brewer's ice cream and losing a pound or two by doing push-ups on my desk. I HAVE TO BALANCE OKKKK???? DONT JUDGE ME YOU..YOU...PEOPLE...yeah that was me going bipolar in your assticles for a minute.....okay....One day I am a red head the next I am a platinum blonde...One minute I am crying the next I am baking soap and the next I am unfriending people on Facebook because I am bored out of my frigging mind!

Then let me show you John what is like to be me. I mean what are you waiting for? Saturday nights are a blur of movies in this case the most time it passes the more girly movies I watch...the more hormonal i get...and let's face it...the  more liquor I want to buy...not a pretty thing to watch...not a pretty sight.

I mean sometimes i get back to being you know 4 years old and other times...look I look like Pelosi...gosh that is awful! Girl..not sure how she is going to get back to normal...someone pump some air on this woman!

It is all your fault, John, Now I watch the muppets or a commercial for Dawn Dish-washing liquid Soap and I cry, I sobbed...for Tiny Tim and wonder how amazing is that a blue liquid can get rid of the fat so fast, and yet I cannot.

Now going back to what women want. We don't want perfect. We want normal. We don't want close talkers, open mouth eaters, grammar nazis, low talkers, Indian givers, two-faced bizarro baby face males...what we want is down to earth..caring...and of course if possible with a big....hmmm testicles...spectacles...wallet and watch...okay got it...good dates.

Girlies you saw the movie...this guy goes through a war almost 10 years...comes back...still in love with her...goes through hell and back...still loves her...keeps her letters...these after only two weeks of spending time with her....Have you seen the movie I mean I was like reaching for the kleenex...grabbing for dear life to my woobie blanket (yes okay i have a security blanket i used...alright...at least is a military camouflage one...yes i cried just like below......"I want to kisss in the rainnn.....arhahhaahhahhh....why meeeee....argggg! Yes I cried like a mofo and after I was done it was time for Baileys..I mean when guys get dumped I heard they go to strip clubs, but where do we go??? Publix....to get some ice-cream...so not fair.

Well I am attaching a link just in case....dont thank me till later you are waiting for John around...JUST LIKE ME and by that I didnt mean...you are waiting for JOHN around...okay? and well desire strikes here we go: http://www.cowboys4angels.com/

954.234.7546

No this is not my company..no i have not tried the product...because I cannot afford it..and yes I am broke but for some of you ladies...that look for the perfect male experience and some company dont do like me dont stay on the weekends in sobbing over Tiny Tim and bubbles....have fun...live a little...and try some cowboys and angels. HEEEEHAHHHHH!

MY BEST 10 DATES

My readers want saucy details and due to me trying to hold to my sanity and my job...and my extended family which possibly they think i am deprived of any kind of decency is extremely difficult to let my hair go...no pun intended..and use a certain kind of details and language that could be consider inappropriate for a lady of my stature (pun more intended)..sooo instead of making fun of me...which possibly other people do...already...I will dear ladies and chicks show you random male profiles from websites i frequent....so you can see HomoNonErectus trying to catch their perfect female for sport..for fun...for marriage...Now mind you I have not met any of them (I swear) but I thought just in case you are thinking on cheating on your boyfriend, husband or significant other..THINK AGAIN...I KNOW that some of these pics...MIGHT BE GRAPHIC...and SOME HORRRIFYING....just remember to have a bit of merlot...before going to bed...YOU BEEN WARNED....for you to see what awaits in this jungle of erectile dysfunction males and commitment phobics.

SUSPECT#1 EGG

Are you sitting down? Get the tissues...the icecream...and a lot of WINE and travel with me....tooooo POFLANDIA....Here we go....SUSPECT #1 (names and handles have been erased to protect the innocent)....Okay Here we go...SUSPECT #1 Once I saw this pic i knew I will forever if I ever met him be the happiest of women in the world...I mean the vacant expression, the longing eyes...the uncombed unmanageable hair....Really???? He is sweating his butt off in this weather...first ...he has hair in the wrong side of the egg...hmmm mean head...i cannot see his eyes...Guys the whole wear the glasses thing...creepy..non-attractive...is not the 80s anymore and Koyak is not cool anymore...NEXT!!!!

SUSPECT #2 BONJOVI

SUSPECT#2...Maybe is the same dude all I know I used to wear my hair like that.WELL it was a wig i bought for 50 bucks because i wanted to look like Farrah ...but..Possibly the dude is cool Again...scary at shit...who will date this dude seriously? However i bet he can play guitar like the dickens...


SUSPECT#3...I guess he is showing us his best part...don't fret ladies is not what you think...again creepy...more creepy...if you are doing that dude you make want to call SUSPECT #1 and SUSPECT#2 and buy some glasses.

SUSPECT#3 DR. STYE

SUSPECT#4 I CAN HOLD MY CAMERA AND YOU CANNOT WHAT I AM DOING WITH MY OTHER HAND...EWWWWW!!!!

  SUSPECT#4 He says on his profile "You better pick Me,"....or what punk??? or what??? He actually seems like a decent guy although not my type..but you could at least talk photography..I bet that is the biggest thing he owns...does size matter?

SUSPECT#5 FABIO..Well I guess I found Fabio from I cannot believe is not butter in Tampa...now he still goes with no shirt on..but he lives in a trailer down by the river...cover up man you don't want to show all the goodies..

SUSPECT #5 FABIOLOUSOS Well leave the Shirt Off and Where is the Butter?

SUSPECT#6 PAT

SUSPECT#6 is my FAVE...because at least this guy you can see it...he is who he is and he does not give a RAT'SSSS butt...who knows it...you got my sympathy my brother...who wouldnt attract a woman of quality with a draft of the cheapest beer...half stoned...out of your mind...and that wonderful charming expression of love that says....i am your prince and I came to rescue you from your life of dispair...OMG....I actually think it will be interesting to meet this guy.GIVE HIM A PEPSI COMMERCIAL...HIS OWN SHOW.......LOL...NOTT!!! NEEESSXXTTT! 

SUSPECT#7 YOGI RAMA

SUSPECT#8  MR. MORTI

SUSPECT#7 Now the ladies have been asking me to provide them with someone that is Flexible..you know...understands their needs..Well LOOK NO FURTHER chickies...suspect #7 is the man of your dreams...you know it ...I know it...now EVERYONE'S knows it...awesomeness. SUSPECT #8 MIGHT need a visa...or work for ISIS...LIKE i really feel bad for this guy..I mean..it looks like he has not sleep for more than 2 months...some of the guys on the site they looked like a dog chewed them up and spit them back up...Maybe Pat could give him a beer and Yogi Rama...could show him some relaxation techniques SO he does not look like he might want to built a car bomb...oh crap I said the B word!!! Tell you the truth chickies these guys are not even the worse out there....oh...more... more ...she says here we go the last two for the night...SUSPECT#9 Forgot the rest of the group..you know the XMAN...Professor Xavier..looks at least like he can manage a party and more..what's up with the Fu-Manchu motif? Wow..Well once you are over 40 hair starts growing in unsuspecting places...

SUSPECT #9 PROFESSOR XAVIER

However no party is complete...and I have to say this one was the best dressed for the party...and I bet the best prospect of all with Jenny Suspect #10. 

SUSPECT#10 JENNY

Now ladies these are not by far the worse out there...i mean...the guys are creative for sure with names like: slytherin...why not...p-nut,...dryhumping..., or heave..whizingkid...(i wouldn't even know what to say to that...), coolusername..,osobear (actually that is good for him since he is one big boy...)..BananaHammer...really?? desperatemeasures...etc...they tried their best...what interesting mix of people...i wonder if they will find their love...i wonder if suspect number one will keep the wig,..suspect number 2 will exchange glances or hair with professor Xavier...while Fabio and Pat work in a Coca Cola Commercial. Well, Dont hold your breath Yogi Rama...Mr. Morti is coming tot he rescue with Jenny to complete the unnameable 10.

MEMORIEs, CHOICEs, LIFE ENERGY (CHAKRAS)

Sometimes in life we forget who we are along the way of so many choices. The Chinese...used to say that no matter what path you choose will always be wrong in your choice. Now, i don't pretend to know more than the Chinese philosophers...but somehow that just does not work for me. Our choices are the result of how much information (data) we have gathered about an event...combined with a mixed of preconceived notions most of which are either false, wrong, or imposed by others over a period of time. Ah, well from the point of Physics I forgot random. Also false memories come into place to complicate things further and that is why after a while an event can be remembered completely different by two witnesses.

Sometimes and this is for you my friend D., the best recourse is to do nothing. In silence you find strength and answers. When we feel alone, guilty and misunderstood we tend to try to escape...what feels uncomfortable...I done it too many times, i am guilty too, either that be a city, a marriage, a situation...we always think that what is unpleasant must be wrong.  However...you and I know...that is not the case...Causation does not mean correlation..right my nerdies...?

Our memories makes us who we are or who we think we are since also our perspective of ourselves is tainted by that of other's expectations on how things suppose to be. Have I lost you yet?  As a massage therapist I have learned a lot not only about the human body...but about the human soul and need for care. I will explain and I think some of you might love this since most of these teachings come from the Chinese and Hindu natural or alternative medicine approaches which were vigent much earlier than palliative medicine existed in the Western World. 

When I first have contact with my client during a massage (you can do a little prayer) I enter their magnetic field. Sometimes you can feel right away where the illness, hurt, nerve damage, or area that contains the stagnation is. Now the Hindu system of Chakra Healing makes a lot of sense to me. There are 7 Chakras each one is represented by a color and a location in the human body. All 7 must be in balance..well the 7th one is reserved for those enlightened and only few will ever conquer it... but the Chakras related to what is affecting your soul will affect your body. "Mente sana, corpore sano?"

The 7 Chakras are: Root, Sacral, Navel, Heart, Throat, Forehead, and Crown. Each one of us has more or less of one or the other depending on our inner health and spiritual balance. Root represents stability and support and without it...the others cannot survive...Are you grounded? If you are uncertain about things constantly...changing with no direction and no goal...your root chackra is out of whack! This is the first thing you should fix...

The second chakra is Sacral (sexuality) need i need to say more? You all know your business okay? Now the third chakra is the navel chakra self confidence, will power, feelings, sensitivity comes from here (prana) is the universal life energy.  

The Heart Chakra (humanity, empathy, love, compassion...). The heart chakra is important because it links the lower chackras with the highest one..thus without love...none of the chakras can be in balance. The Throat Chakra (truthfullness, intelligence, communication, musical talent). Think about this Chakra when you are making comments about your neighborhood...your words also have power it comes from the Throat Chakra.  The forehead Chrakra has to do with visualization of others feelings, fantasy, imagination and self-knowledge also called the 3rd Eye. Finally, the Crown Chakra spirituality in higher planes, knowledge of God, self realization...now some men will try to attain this in vain...and feel it is their fault...but how can you get to the 7th when your first Chakra is not working. You have to be grounded in the Earth to understand the Divine!

Now I have noticed that in general people will turned to vices and no very smart decision making when the root chakra is out of whack...somehow they decide to try a bit of everything maybe eventually i will found out what i like. Is this happening to you? I can give you some tips on how to harmonize all these...so my question is what is bugging you now...if you feel out of balance either affectionately, chemically, etc....you are doing a deserviced to yourself.....So remember your memories get stored in your muscle not only in your brain...your memories produce electrical sensations that get recorded also in your muscle fibers...creepy huh?? So what is your first memory?

My first memory is of my mother. I remember lying down on her bed and feeling the warmth of the white wool onesie i had on. I remember the surface flat but bouncy of my parents bedroom mattress,  this love unexpected brought me comfort. I was only one month old.