BYE, BYE, BYE

BYE, BYE, BYE

This is for my girlies and sisters that lost somebody. Mariah Carey you always know what to say. Creation shows me what to do the music tells me what to feel and I see my present myself standing in front of my past present judging standing in front of each other like a mirror saying goodbye. "Goodbye" says my present self, "break the mirror make a blank slate! Move on!" 

My past self turns around and looks sad...maybe that was my ego leaving. I can see she tries to turn back like a hurt child trying to get a hold of my heart again, pouting, and it works I feel sorry for herself and for him, again...No way...not again....my ego does not feel bad not for me. "I found someone new. With this someone I dont have to walk on eggshells all the time and he is honored to spend time with me and I with him."

 I am tired of looking through a dirty windown and keep myself in check when I let HIM  set the pace? Just because I was not thinking straight...or maybe thinking in him I am a giver after all, but just like Ellie Goulding say...love me like you do....what were you waiting for? Say goodnight....and then I will know if this is right and this is real..who owns my heart now? The answer is me.

New beginnings are scary my faith is shaken I got keep my head held high. When you meet a new person that finally sees you for who you are..you finally feel like a human being again. Maybe it was not me.right? Dont they say that on break ups. "Baby is not you is me?"  Well this time I know it was not me, he avoid it me...ditch me...make me feel ashamed of being me...when all I did is to be there for him...you know the feeling and most importantly he made me feel worthless not like a lady...now I am drawing the FUcking line!!!! Am I MAD???? Hell Yeah! Hell to the Yes!!! O.K. Yes it was all my fault I allowed to happen...but dont you suppose to trust your couple that when they have your heart they will treat it right? Isnt that part of the TRUST?

No more come back baby please.... No more can we see each other this weekend again? Fuck NO, Now get in line!!!! It is time that you learn your place like you want me to learn mine right? Remember when you said that I needed to say what was that?...Submissive...helll NO! Stupid???? Pretend that I didnt see you text that 24 year old in Texas?.....Pretend that I knew you didnt live with a woman but with a buddy?...Pretend that you didnt move on...and were not exclusive...boy you must think that I AM A MORON!!! I pretended...pretended because I tried to give us a chance..because in all those nights we were together...I did feel your love...so bye, bye, I hope you reach a better place because I am moving on. The red dragon is coming back....I know now that you dont give a rat's butt, but I needed closure.

I wonder who will take your place it seems that you sir are irreplaceable NOTTTT!....there are plenty of guys turning their eyes on now...better men. I know that a lot of my most relationship experience buddies will say that you cannot find yourself on another person that you need to find yourself first is not about how other person makes you feel. I get that. I really do...but most people that say that have a couple am I right? Sorry if I sound sarcastic and upset...really I am not, but i am so tired of being single and hear the little comments and looks that I know better since I have a man. Pleasseeee! Let's dont forget once upon a time I was married for 19 years...that's right Mystique James...married...the horror. I just have a question....why are woman like cows....why God didnt make us unfeeling bitches...I prayed for that so many times...Well I am fighting back!!! 

LOVE CHICKIES GOODNIGHT FROM TAMPA, FLORIDA.

A girl in her dreams meet a guy
who makes her happy n fly high
as dream is over, he says good-bye
girl asked him why
“why can’t you be my
mine forever till I die”
guy answered and gave a reply
“I am just a dream so don’t cry
get back to reality and open ur eyes”

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