THE GIRL WITH THE SPINE TATTOO

THE GIRL WITH THE SPINE TATTOO

Did you know that the average woman sees between two-hundred and four-hundred images a day through media showing how you should feel and looked like a model or supermodel. Our culture feeds on our insecurities: too fat? too thin? too flabby? Too short?

Out of billions of people in the world...only one hundred in the world are supermodels which makes them genetic walking freak shows. Marilyn Monroe has been without doubt the hottest and sexiest female icon of all times, and she was a size twelve. So how come now everyone has to look and be a size ZERO nowadays? Shouldnt you and I be able to be happy being ourselves without having to conform to these stereotypes?

As part of my thesis PhD in Public Health through Walden University which deals mainly with pornography and the married couple I decided to go into dating websites to find out what works and what does not work when you are trying to attract a male. On most dating sites when building a profile man or woman have to fill out information about their preferences for example, dating, short-term, friends, long-term, marriage (normally those are fake profiles).

Men are visual, we already know that, it is in their nature...and ladies if you have tried to change your boyfriend's habit of not looking when a girl passes him by I want you to know that will be enduring a loosing battle against instict. Men cannot help but look..they are always searching for the best next thing ...and now temptation is everywhere from the living room to the cell phone with one click...tindr, snapchat, facebook, wildbuddies, etc..you are not competing anymore with the girl next door..in the flesh now.you are competing against men's fantasies...the women that they cannot have...the one that looks more alluring on a snapchat.pic. and that randomly sends them parts of their hmm ...female anatomy...let me throw up a little there..opps.

Men in general (there are some decent ones out there and you know who you are) are not interested in a woman that is insecure...or that is asking him every day about defining their relationship...or questions them when they want to go out with their buddies...men dont need another mommy...! THIS IS A HUGE TURN OFF! SO STOP DOING THAT! BE A CUAO!

Questioning and Comparing...they hate that! If you are nagging him every day about why you didnt pick up this time the kids on time..or clean the dishes ....or forgot that was her birthday..yes you are competing against the girl with the spine tattoo.

Men are less empathetic than women, perhaps in part because they have less sensitive mirror neurons than women do. But men's mirror neurons aren't completely lacking, as evidenced by brain scans that have been done while men watch pornography. In 2008, French researchers had men watch adult films while they were undergoing an fMRI brain scan. The researchers found that the part of the brain that displays mirror neuron activity lit up before the subjects got erections, which may indicate the great power porn has on the human brain -- it persuades mirror neurons to think that sex is actually occurring, which stimulates a physical response [sources: Motluk, Lehrer].

Mirror neurons aren't the only part of the brain that is involved when a man watches pornography. Actresses in adult films tend to be, shall we say, curvaceous. Researchers have found that the sight of a woman with an hourglass shape, be it in the movies or in the local bar, activates the same reward centers in the brain that are associated with drugs and alcohol [source: Choi]. Seeing photographs of the same woman, minus the distinct waist-to-hip ratio, didn't activate those reward centers. From an evolutionary standpoint, men may still subconsciously associate shapely hips with fertility, thus finding women with hourglass shapes preferable for mating. So if your boyfriend won't stop checking out that Beyoncé lookalike, bear in mind that never looking at another woman would be like an addict going without his fix.

But if he looks, does that mean he'll stray? Not necessarily.

I decided to conduct a little experiment in the last two weeks in which unsuspected male profile holders from several websites (pof, okcupid, zooks) saw the image above as part of a made up profile. My name was Chloe I even had a facebook fake profile in which in less than two hours i obtained more than 250 male and female friends that accepted my request even though they had never met me in the flesh. Scary huh? 

I was supposedly a lingerie model and actress that studied at a great local University (beauty and brains) and I was from Texas. Now on the first pic  that I posted on the profile was the one below with my face...This pic is from a month ago.Look Below. Okay, anyone could say that my pic does not look like it could go with  the body of a lingerie model right...? I thought so too, but the results were amazing.

Second, I included a picture of someone elses' full body from behind (man supposed to be attracted to the hourglass figure) shape of a woman's body mostly by genetics. I told them that was from a year ago and that I had it professionally done. My chats went up through the roof from 67% in which males wanted a long term relationship to almost a whooping 97%. Wow! Sex does sell! I actually could remember when my butt looked like that...good times!!! ANYHOW...MOVING ON!!

Okay anyone with some brains can tell right away...that the second pic above might be fake but something happened in the male brain...they put the two pics together..now I was not so much a 44-year old that wanted a long term relationship..but...their fantasize the the whole body image.

All of the sudden, the texts were different in content..At first, their interest was then focused mainly on them...by that I mean...them finding information about me which will be similar to the questions:

Where are you from? How many kids do you have? How long you been on the site? What is your profession? Now most women when they are asked these questions might think something of the sort like: What a nice guy..he really wants to establish contact with me and learn about me. Nothing farther from the truth chickies, in my opinion and I am being a bit cynic here..they go through the same repertoire a thousand times with other females because it seems is the norm in a dating site...and then they stop texting or make an excuse...which meants they move into another profile for another day or two until someone of their STANDARDS catches their eye...by these standards I mean...many different things...Now ,then it was my time to try phase 2: HOW TO REEL THEM IN!

After seeing the hourglass figure their questions went something like this: So do  you own a bikini? What are you doing tonight? The nicest ones said: Wow, you are beautiful but what a body do you work out much? and other more adult conversation themes....

Now I did discovered that most men prefer women with long hair versus short hair (even though they will not say that to you) and that after being for a while in a dating site jumping from woman to woman they knew that some pics were fake or from long time ago..so they always wanted a full body pic..so i decided to turn on the heat..part of the experiment...and sent them this: THE GIRL IN THE SPINE TATOO. Now you are thinking this looks fake...I would say that too..who is going to believe this..really? Well...good news for me...most of them did and then something happened...the ones that stopped texting they started again...and yes I used a fake number!

Not only they were freely giving me information but pics started to appear...some nice ...some horrifically graphic and disturbing....the less that I texted back..the more pics they sent..as a matter of fact I didnt even have to have a conversation after sending the last pic...which meant that most men only look at the pics on the profiles and not their content...THE LESS THAT YOU NEED THEM THE MORE THEY THINK THAT YOU ARE A HOT ITEM!!

Men are visual and that is that..Well, point one proven. My main point here was that your perception of your couple is in your psyque first and then in your heart..sometimes your heart will affect your head, but that certainly for men is all about genetics..men love long and silky hair (shiny) in women because it tends to show FERTILITY. Okay, so you are thinking that these guys on the site only want one thing...I found out...obviously there are women and men that want only that..and go to those sites to find a one night stand. How to get a winner here for a long term relationship? If a man is interested in a real relationship with you...after seeing your face selfie, or full dressed body pic..and continues to talk with you he is possibly a keeper. A man that is asking about naked pics...not worth it...okay Sherlock you probably know that one.

In my opinion, the image of women in general has gone from saint and mother to hoe in ten seconds flat. The commercialization and explotation of the female body affects everyone. We as women let it happen and we fell prey to it..My boyfriend likes DD's i will certainly go to the surgical center and get me those..so he will never leave me!!! My husband was looking at a girl that was a size 5 i will kill and starved myself until I get to that size after having 3 kids....and themes like that...isnt that sad?
We all do it and we all think that at one point or another. However I had beautiful sexy women tell me that after they did all that their husbands or boyfriends left them anyways.

Once in a while you find that man that is tired of playing games and appreciates your beauty for who you are, not the man that shows you pics of a 24 year old friend from California-look she is a fitness instructor-he says, and she is 24. Inside of my head: -fuck you ashole!!! Guess what lets see that 24 year old working 5 jobs and pushing a 10 pound baby through her vagege..while cooking for 7 kids..and doing your laundry!!! Scream girls!!! I really want to punch someone right now..makes me so mad...YOU KNOW WHAT IDIOT I WAS THAT FITNESS INTRUCTOR 10 YEARS AGO!!! KARMA IS A BITCH and it is coming for her too!!! -evil laugh inserted here....and scene!!!

Calm down Mystique..calm down...yes no one out there can  make you feel undesirable or unwanted if you dont let them...we all have heard that...but hell they sure do try...now chickies I hope you catch the man of your dreams and I hope that he appreciates you for both your inner and outer beauty...this chickie still trying..to find A GOOD EEGGGG....feeling lonely...but beautiful inside and out!!!

LOVE MYSTIQUE!!

THE ITALIAN JOB

THE ITALIAN JOB

• When I was thirteen I remember hating to be a woman, there were so many limitations it seemed. My brother David and Michael got to get  out late at night partying, were never question about their nocturnal activies and pretty much they had no curfew: the double standard. Yours truly on the other hand had to explain my movement through a library or a department store: "Yes, Ma, I am on the second floor now...yesshhh."
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• I started working around that age of thirteen as a waitress my father had left and my mother and I needed income coming into the household...Yes I am 16 I would lie...yes...of course I worked in a restaurant before!
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• All a lie, but the restaurant or pub owners woudl believe me after all how someone so sweet could lie. Lying got me a job as a waitress and pretty much manager of a pub next to the local University. I worked for a pub called Noveccento for almost three years. My shift started at eleven o'clock at night and it ended at six a.m. 

• My job consisted of a mixture of half bartender...half manager...mostly psychotherapist for all the frequent customers. In the morning the University students mostly medical students (I was so jealous) they will tell me all about the new classes...the books..how they study all these subjects that I thought for lack of income will never be able to study. I had a few friends but once they found out my age..13 versus 21..well they treated me differently.
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• At night it was a completely different story. Lesbians, Gays, bar owners, hairdresses, adult entertainers, and other night owls will come to the pub..enjoy a beer or a whiskey,...their own cocaine..NO I NEVER TRIED ANY!!! and leave a huge tips (my best customers) and other lets say more serious escapades on the pub's bathroom which I refused to clean since it was not sanitary or safe. Yes at 13 I learned a lot about human relationships, sex, bargaining, and how when you got a vice there is always the pay off, I learned everything and saw pretty much everything that human beings could do to each other; all except love. 

Love for me was to offer a cup of coffee to one of our clients he was 15 and homeless, every morning I will prepare breakfast for him before my boss showed up. Love for me was when Starky the filthy dog down the street will come up and sit in our door hours and hours waiting for his owner who passed away last year.

I have always felt animals care and love more deeply than humans; there is no malice and bad intent in their actions only love. No, I was not stupid I was kind. Sometimes there are people such as myself that are the polyannas of the world. We know violence and ugliness in the human soul, but we choose not to acknowlege it. Most of our peers and family think...she is so naive...she is falling again...she never learns...how can she not see it? And finally the last meltdown..SHE IS WEAK! Yes they think and they dont say...but i see it and feel it..Did you know that if you think something bad or demeaning about someone else...you are actually projecting it into existence? People think is only words..but 87% of our language is body language. 

I SEE IT. I FEEL IT. I LIVE IT. AND I CHOOSE TO IGNORE IT. In my mind, if we give reality to thoughs they become actions...actions become expectations and habits...and therefore...a twisted perspective: our reality. So you see, if you see me falling in love again with someone that I just met a month ago..is not because I did not see the bad parts...is because I saw the bad parts...but I loved what was good in him and recognize him as a beautiful soul. Everyone has something good..everyone has a piece of heaven in them because everyone is a temple made with different pieces. The beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder isnt that an American saying?

The word "Namaste" is a beautiful word, because translated it equivales to "I see you; I see the good in you" Being an empath is not easy, no I am not crazy..not I am a psyquic or a medium...no... I cannot spell psyquic! But I do get flashbacks of things from time to time...in a class full a students is the worse..I can see for some of them how their future careers will be just a bit...just by behaviors...class after class for 18 years...there is always a repeated pattern.

 The class clown..that suffers from self esteem..the pretty girl that everyone tries to emulate..but tries so hard every day to be noticed because she thinks she might dissapear...the football hero..nothing bothers this guy except the pressure of his dad, his peers to be the best all the time. The nerds...my favorites...always trying to appear dumber so they can fit in...the solo kid sitting on the front...that listens word for word and silently goes home and takes care of his dad that got shot at Publix and cannot take care of himself. The genius that appears to be the trouble maker because he is so bored sitting on the back possibly two grades below his IQ he hates me and my class.....you see everyone suffers in silence..but silence is not silent..vibrations are everywhere..so when I meet a person...and they look me straight in the eye...I always think...what are you trying so hard to hide?

Meeting and Dating men tends to go the same..so much hurt and regret some of them stuck on the past or in the future..not enjoying the present. I have been guilty of that myself. I love him and I do love him just becasue a person dissapears the love does not go easy not like that. I know what I felt; it was real; so he dissapeared but my love for him did not. 

NAMASTE S.L. NAMASTE.

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HOW TO BE THE PERFECT CUAO 101

HOW TO BE THE PERFECT CUAO

OHHH...Singlehood...you just got out of that relationship that literally drained you of your energy, money, time, future goals, and of course trample of all over your heart at the same time that make you look like an ASSticle in front of everyone you knew including your children..your family...YOUR MOTHER...lets dont forget YOUR MOTHER!...I can clearly hear now the "I told you so...he was up to no good...you need to listen your mother..you say yes, but never do...men are hunters...there is a process...you need at least a year or two between relationships...how someone fell in love so fast....."

"Yes, Mom, I know...okay can we please drop it...again..." It seems like that's the only thing on their lips today the you are not getting any younger speech or richer...did you know she just break up with another one? she probably tells her friends....Arggg...I really thought I got it this time...he had kids...seemed to like mine,..had a job..WAIT! He didnt have a car...and okay I saw the red flags everywhere...it was like riding a bus to a very fun place looking through the window and the faster the bus went the more flags...you could see passing along the road...all of the HUGE giant red flags...all waiting FOR ME...AND BOOM when I run out of money...it hits...Huh...text from one of his redneck friends: what are you doing with a fat chick?..His answer: ...she had money at the time....WOW...What a fu$#$# piece of cow dong....It is beyond me how people can lie right to your face...and say the word I LOVE YOU right to you! It is classical epic letdown you thought you were the girl of his dreams...he started to think that way but...somehow....well lets look at evidence number one look below::::: yeah if freaking SUCKS!!!

I always wonder if somehow along the way..maybe I dont know or feel or ever felt what love is...Have you ever felt that way? If love feels different to different people how do you know...when is love or silliness?  Love for me looks like this: Teamwork you can always count on your mate for good or for bad.

 Fun and friendly: You might have many things in common or none but you can make the best of the worse situations together and you always think the best of them first...if not communicate and ask.

You can always tell you how you feel no matter how stupid..if they love you they wont dismiss you or tell you that you are crazy...someone that loves you will fight for you!

Mom was right as always, and at this point no point in arguing the truth when I heard myself defending the man that supposedly I was in love...at the time. Funny enough two weeks after our break up I found out after some realization that I was not in love.not sure what happened there...maybe part spell...maybe I saw an friend in trouble and wanted to help...a single dad living in poverty and two beautiful children with no mom...and I tried to convince myself that it will work out even on those multiple nights when we didnt have nothing in common and BY THE WAY...you better have something in common in that department...

Have you reader EVER have to convince yourself that you love someone or that someone loved you...? I mean .they had to love you right...they told you so right to your face...you felt it...Did they? How  you wonder they dont feel what I feel? What a freaking mess.

LOVE has been a present theme of thought throughout my life...how an individual can feel that initial spark...chemistry...crush...love...and sometimes last a lifetime and others a few weeks or minutes...even..SO I decided to come up with a plan. Get some ground rules. There had to be rules...how to actually find a male that will be perfect for you?  My search begun in the Self-Help isle at B& N. Fifty bucks later, I bought a couple of books ..I really wish they will disguise them better....argggg .....they even titled that isle "Self-Help" like we are sick with some disease and we are so weak and stupid we can figure it out...wait...that's pretty much how this kind of relationship makes you feel right...sick...blah....tired...depressed...now you know now that was the wrong kind of relationship to be on. What is wrong with me? NOTHING!!!

Being single is not a curse...is a decision..sometimes a wise one for many people. I decided to give it a try. Last March, after awful breakup and finally recuperating my now completely destroyed car...which he used and abused...I felt relieved....the morning ride was a bliss..no more getting up at five a.m. to drop 3 kids on three different schools and grandmas' house...no more lending money for food, gas, cable, and occasional clothes for my stepdaughters...I could get up two hours late...get my latte...drop my son which was much more relaxed and happy...and not being hit by the little stepdemon at every turn...and I even started to get looks from coworkers and friends...you are glowing they said...YES IT IS THE TASTE OF FREEEDOM FOR AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP....GOSH I DODGED A BULLET!!! Yes, Yoda...you always got my back!!!

I started my new job which I have to say helped me and saved me...a couple of my coworkers became my friends through the breakup and make me feel like I was worth it..thanks for remind me what I lost on the way!  As my thoughts and bad days were occupied now by my three year old Erik and my new training in the corporate America. I started to loose weight...became more confident... BECOME ME AGAIN... BECAME A FIRST YEAR CUAO.....never I will trust another MALE of the species NEVER...I became the RED DRAGON again. Do like they do use them and leave them..and for a while I was good at it. I was not fake, I did not lie, I was just like them but without the lies and cover ups. I was a CUAO first year.

Then I read a very powerful book on dating online and how to become a CUAO...it sounded like some brazilian bikini wax thingy, but I kept reading. I dont want to give away some of the rules since these books are not written by me...and these rules have been around before our Grannys but, the question that I was pondering was...Why games? Why rules?...why rules..because ladies...there are rules...even if we dont want to follow them,...believe in them...or act on them..the rules of how to be a CUAO.

So, WHAT IS A CUAO?...males of the species...close your eyes and ears...and go watch some ...I dont know football or pass the channels with the remote randomly never really stopping on a channel.

 Ladies look below:
“Being a creature unlike any other is a state of mind. Being a creature unlike any other is really an attitude, a sense of confidence and radiance that permeates your being from head to toe. It’s the way you smile (you light up the room), pause in between sentences (you don’t babble on and on out of nervousness), listen (attentively), look (demure, never stare), breathe (slowly), stand (straight) and walk (briskly, with your shoulders back).”

Now that is just a definition, there is so many rules on how a CUAO should behave...this is not a system to trick a man into liking you..but it is a system never to forget what you are worth.

Now my problem readers is that I used to be a CUAO when I was young but I never knew what a CUAO was or is..most women start that way, but with age and time we forget that we are worth....and now I completely forgot how to be one naturally. My time in the U.S. Army didnt help to make me more of a lady that I was...in fact...heck the opposite...I am pretty straight forward...just like men are in general. So before we go into what is a CUAO and what are the rules ...your homework for this week is: “What is the difference that makes the same guy behave and treat 2 completely different women, differently?  

TO BE CONTINUED.....
Mystique James

THE CRAZY CAT LADY  FROM THE BLACK LAGOON

 Once Upon A Time there was a beautiful, smart, intelligent, sexy...hmmm WELL ME, princesss yeah! Well, okay that is not me below...but that is how I see myself..yeah that's right...this is my writing..my fantasy...and my story...so....there..suck it up buttercup....okay where I was going with this story oh...oh yeah...So Once Upon A time there was a beautiful princess that lived in a 1500 square feet flat in Temple Terrace she enjoyed the beautiful songs of the cardinals; the flapping wings of royal butterflies; and the attention of multiple suitors (it is still my fantasy...deal with it!)  in her beautiful yet enormous garden she will stroll everyday comtemplating the peasants from her tower..."Poor little bastards...oh...how do they work...I wish I could help somehow"

She was so happy surrounded by beauty and a golf course...rich men enjoying their retirement funds and geriatric retirees walking like zombies through her property..However, behind her beautiful flat...hmmm...i meant to say castle....there was "The Dark Garden and further down the back there was the Dark Lagoon," where the Crazy Cat Lady Had Been Seen Strolling Around!

:::::SINISTER MUSIC PLAYING HERE......"The Crazy Lady From The Black Lagoon"....sinister laughter....hahahahhahahhammm.

 One day the princess had to go to her sorority club to help students succeed and change lives, so she climbed into her Black Porsche and got ready for a new day. This was not a job to her since she was driving a porsche everyday to work and eating canapes and champagne...laughing with her sisters all day long about the peasants that did had to go to work, but unbeknownst to the princess the evil..crazy lady had moved next door...At first, everything started innocently, the Crazy Cat Lady will bring vegetables from the Black Lagoon and give them to the princess..oh how nice! The princess thought, but soon the princess started to note different weird occurrences happening in her garden.First her shelves dissapeared and her favorite table, then all the beautiful yellow and white dahlias and tulips were chopped leaving a deserted garden. Why and who the princess thought, who would do such a thing?

The princess tried to jump over the fence but instead of her beautiful flowers there was a cat fence full of bullet holes...This was never here before..the princess was really confused and scared..someone had decided to divide her garden in half...the butterflies and the cardinals will never come again...ohhhhh no....okay you can sob now reader...really...argggg. Then It Happened! There she was staring at the princess with her eyes wide open and petting her kitty cat Fruitloofff. "Come Here, Deary look what I did for You"-the crazy lady said and then there it was....ahhhhhhhhhhh-the princess screamed the most erie sound..nooooooohhhhhh-now the princess was histerical...what....what....my undiwears.....you....touchhhhhh them...ahhhhhh...Nooo touchiiiiiiiii

 Yes-the crazy lady said..I went into your house through a secret door and after looking at your computer..personal papers...changing the temperature to 75 degrees...I mean deerie really....you dont need to be at 77....after all you are going to be paying for the bill from TECO anyways...and ohh...drinking some of your wine...I hope you dont mind....I also clogged your toilets and showers.....so i could blame you later...wellll dearie....watch out with your personal files...and..pof...really you are not geetting any younger.Okay dearie...remember how I told you last week that you needed a hobby forget it....you really need a new boyfriend....But you cannot do that...said the princess. Remember dearrieeee-"The voices...are telling me to kill you!" If you and your son leave the property you will never return alive...alhahahahah.

The princess was scared and confused but thank god that she did meditation and yoga...daily...but she was scared the Crazy Cat Lady will come into the House. Why...she wondered...why the Crazy Lady will go through all this trouble to kick her out, after all i am paying her bills? Then one day, when the crazy lady got out the house the princess jumped the cat fence...went through the black garden..into the black lagoon...and then to her surprise...she saw ...THE HORROR.....There was a garden of crazy cat ladies some of them smoking weed..others trying out crazy scottish outfits...but the worse one was telling her to go to hell in the craziest language she had ever seen....

She used her middle finger...ha...said the princess I am not really sure what that means....but I better leave...she does have an ax. To her surprise the black lagoon was not black at all but full of TADDDDAMMMM UNDIES...omg she collects them...2000 bras and panties laid down on top  of the grass. That is why she cuts the flowers...finally some answers!!!! The princess is still living next to the crazy lady but now she has gotten smart not only she has a fence but also she has reinforcements. Show me that finger again, Crazy Cat Lady!!! Now I am ready!!!

MATHIAS

Last Monday, as always rushing to work..Kid in the  car..check...chocolate cookies..Orange Juice...argg no time for breakfast for mom today. !Mom get my car toys-Says Erik!..Omg..this...purse..book...keys..air is working...tire is flat again...got to stop in the Shell Truck Stop...out of gas...open purse...out of money...credit it is..no make up...eyeliner on...check..check..check...got to go to Dunkin Donuts!

I went to Riverview is 6:45 am..and I am late..I start work at 9;00 am..gosh hope I can make it..All of this going through my mind as I look myself in the mirror...well maybe i should have wore a suit..hope the nylons don't break..should I wear more makeup..everyone at work wears more makeup..got to loose another 20 mmm...maybe 30 pounds...forgot my necklace today..got to call mom...got to call both exes...one to pick up the kid...the other...one well...to ask why he cant pick up the kid.

Ladies you know how it is rushing to work...being a single mom...trying to please your kids..your ex..yourself...get it done in time....I went to Riverview...Erik watching transformers on my phone...Mom...he starts crying I dont want to go to school....!! He starts whining..then a new tactic...I start whining with a grim...Erik...I dont want to go to work....argggg-simulated crying....he stops...he starts laughing...Mommy Why Do you go to work?.....Erik...I have to. Why-asks Erik....I ask him if he likes our new house?...yes mom....do you like to go to the aquarium? Yes mom i like the jellyfish...the best! Do you like when mommy buys you trucks and cars to play with? Yes...mommy..okay buddy you and I are a team ...you go to school and I go to work...Well, mom I want to go to your work...wow..I thought I wish you could!

Let's say that we all go through mornings like this especially when you are a single parent..you are an advisor, a lecturer, the budget maker,...the home maker...the money maker...the priest...the psychologist, and the mechanic all in a bundle; that is the life of a single mom or dad, especially more challenging when either you have a toddler or a teenager...I am blessed to have both! Erik is holding to the chair..to my inner thigh...with the grasp of death..dont want to let go today...the teacher looks at me kindly: he is fine in the classroom...he will be okay...well it is 7:15 am...and i wish i could have a beer right now.

Riverview...on my way to MLK...stop at Dunkin Donuts drive-through..in 301 South..hispanic lady always makes my morning better...how sweetie what can I get you? A day off? I said..being sarcastic..She starts laughing...extra shot of coffee? Please Hit Me! Donut....? mmmm I did say i wanted to loose weight...wherever...throw caution to the wind!-Just make it a glazed!!! Cafe' con Leche Por Favor cari! Good looking guy on the window...You look stress out...I start giggling...Dark Eyes..Hawaian..6'5 ? nice looking I am guessing 30 something?...hmm...I wonder if he is single...my parent mode strucks in...too young..moving on...at this moment someone should slap me...wake up..! Dont worry, he says is on the house...really? Well..Thanks...Never Asked his name. The kid just trying to be nice.

Going around..omg they gave me a croissant instead of a donut. Stop..park the car...breaks are faltering..great! Then a young black man resembling Asher comes out of a BMW..hi is your name Susie? Yes..how does this guy know? Well..I kind of follow you? Whaaaat...creepo!!! This must be yours...he hands me my daughters iphone5..yes..i guess you put gps on your daughters phone and it was connected to yours...oh thanks...well...thanks very much...wow...they still nice people in this world. I asked him his name: Mathias..he smiles. Do you want a reward?..he starts laughing..No thanks.. and got into his beautifull....yes I want that car BMW. I guess not a creep just a nice guy.

That got me thinking..yes I do that from time to time..how we always focus on the negatives..how easy it is...to go to the negatives...so today...be prepared this is a long post..i will give you some of the positives that I have experienced in my life...some of my best...and I was thinking that in my life...i actually have more positives than negatives when I started to think about it...

Year 1-remember the bedspread of my parents bed..warm and comforting presence of my mother..feeling protected.

Year 5-My mother taught me how to draw...she draws a family of mice...dad mice had a top hat...mom mouse had a bow on her head...baby mouse...

Year 6-Kids in school make fun of me when I win a painting contest..because i painted elephants with long legs suspended in the air...i was crying..dad came up to me and said...see..this is a painting of a very famous painter...he also painted elephants with long legs and clocks melting...I see them in my dreams..dad..

Year 8-My two uncles Jesus and Gregorio teach me how to ride my yellow mountain bike on my grandmothers' house they spent the whole day teaching me and then we sit to eat sandwiches and water the flowers in my grandmother's garden.

Year 12-My first kiss..this blonde kid with freckles and blue eyes..Sergio...gives me a sunflower and tells me I love you...lol..gives me a first kiss.

Year 14-My best friend and I we met in kindergarten (Marta)...we make a path to be friends forever...we still talk...we still best friends...they say that if you have a friendship with a person for 7 years it will last a lifetime.

Year 15-I travel all over Europe..love Amsterdam...hate Paris...Love dancing...Love the Mona Lisa...Love Belgium Chocolate and Beer....9 days with no parents...yeahhah!

Year 19-I meet my soulmate...sometimes soulmates don't end up together. More of that to come I guess.

Year 20-Sing professionally at a Piano Bar...go on tour all over Spain and Europe...love to sing..love the crowds.

Year 23-Move to Germany...have my first born...saw his soul entering my body and 5 minutes later...K was born..

Tell me about your positives...Think about it..every day you got more positive things that happen in your life than negatives...so tell me are you focusing on the negatives or the positives in your life? As a friend of mine will say...we need to focus in the Now. Please readers check: https://www.eckharttolletv.com/v3/join/default.aspx

Love, Mystique James

A WITCH'S 10 COMMANDMENTS

This week I met a friend whose name should be unnamed as I protect the privacy of my confidants, does a name really matter is it not another label, labels that we acquire over time?
My friend and I discussed many topics from religion, Astronomy, to ancient civilizations, Chemistry (the center science), relationships, and everyday things like our kids.

 When I looked at him I am and was ashamed on how far down the rabbit hole I have traveled ..I lost my way somehow..between figure it out how much gas can I go on empty before I break down in the highway...or how much money is left for groceries...or why sometimes I feel like I am losing my battle as a single mother. Life is hardship..my grandmother would have said..but I always thought that life was our practice test for the real afterwords.

Sitting there next to me my friend and I drinking some ale and being vulnerable we shared a lot in a short amount of time,...I heard him talk about his way and new path to self discovery, how he got there and I saw peace in his eyes and I wonder why I failed the goddess and myself when it seems that for the last year or more I have not been able to enjoy the simple things without worrying about the mundane things. I don't consider myself to be a perfect human being but I have tried to strive in doing well for myself and my kids every day and of course when possible some of my friends and extended family with what I had. I was honored and I am honored to have such a friend that through meditation and self discovery has found answers and a new way of living what Buddish Religion calls the Eightfold Path.

Most of my family members became outraged and extremely prejudiced over my new found religion almost three years ago. Nonsense! said my mother. Your grandmother will say, that is the devils work! I thought you have gone crazy! My mother exclaimed on the phone..and suddenly I felt really alone, the only one of my kind. A Hedge Witch nonetheless alone and it felt like high-school again when kids will tease me because my parents were the only ones divorced while I was attending Catholic School or when the girls stole the clothes from the gym showers when I was fourteen and I had to walk two floors to the rectory and explain that the girls played a prank on me to try to teach me a lesson: Dont be different! However as painful as that memory is, I told my daughter E., they taught me a lesson..no one can break your spirit if you dont let them. No one can affect your behavior if you dont let them.

So today I decided to explain that not all pagans are wiccans; not all witches are wiccans; and not all wiccans are witches and just because we are wiccans, pagans, witches...or different...that does not mean we are bad. I always remember Jessica Rabbits' words..a cartoon from the movie Roger Rabbit saying: "I am not bad...I am just drawn that way." Are you drawn that way?

Confused yet?  It will be difficult for me to explain in a few lines how or why I decided to wear the title of witch or wiccan or both. I defined myself as a Norse Wiccan I identify with that culture..part of my ancestry comes from when the Vikings invaded Spain..my ancestors were the woman folk that were raped or assimilated by that culture.

So fellow christian friends how well do you know your 10 commandments? How well do we all practice them daily?  Below is a comparison of the Christian Commandments and the Wiccan.

1. The Judeo-Christian First Commandment says: I am the Lord thy God which have brought thee out of the Land of Egypt, out of the house of Bondage. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

1. Wiccan or Neo-Paganism: Thou are God/dess.

2. The Judeo-Christian: Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them..

2. Wiccan: As above, so below, as within, so without.

3. Judeo-Christian: Thou salt not take the name of the Lord in vain.

3. Wiccan: Spirit abides in all things. Words and names have power.

4. Judeo-Christian: Remember this Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work; but the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God; in it thou shalt not do any work.

4. Wiccan: Maintain an Attitude of Gratitude. Walk the Talk.

5. Judeo-Christian:Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land.

5. Wiccan: Honor thy ancestors, teachers, elders and leaders.

6. Judeo-Christian: Thou shalt not kill.

6. Wiccan: All life is sacred.

7.Judeo-Christian: Thou shalt not commit adultery.

7. Wiccan: All Acts of Love and Pleasure Are Sacred.

8. Judeo-Christian: Thou shalt not steal.

8. Wiccan: Whatever you sent out returns threefold.

9. Judeo-Christian: Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour

9. Wiccan: Love is the law, love under will.

10. Judeo-Christian: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, wife, manservant, maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbour's.

10. Wiccan: For the greatest good an it harm none.

Maybe we should be looking not how we are different but how we are equal. Hugs. Mystique.

Why You Suck!: DEAR JOHN

Why You Suck!: DEAR JOHN: DEAR JOHN...OMG DEAR JOHN... This is a letter to the one I will meet someday. I don't know where you are or who you are..but it ...